New era - working daddy

Beep beep beep. Click. Zzzzzz. Beep beep beep. Click. Zzzzzz. Beep -CRASH- G-R-O-A-N.
It's morning after an all too short night. First day back at work after Magnus' birth. This brings up mixed feelings. It will be incredible to get out of the house and meet the world again. After 5 weeks in the house I feel like a jailbird longing to get out.

But the getting-up-in-the-morning-part and the I-will-be-busy-working-part doesn't taste quite that good on my tongue. Haven't even gotten to the "I miss my baby"-phase yet.

As I walk into the office everything feels a bit like same-old-same-old while I was half expecting everything to be different, no fanfare. But no, something is different. From all corners of the office come people that start smiling when they see me, come and shake my hand and congratulate me. This is nice!! I feel good now.

Good feelings' gone the minute I open my e-mail client and find the batch of unattended emails after 5 weeks of absence. And I already long for the sight of little Magnus. Fortunately I come prepared, and in a jiffy I have a new background picture on my desktop. Gone is Yoda with his lightsabre, and in comes the man of my dreams.

Another new experience of the new era is to pace back and forth outside the meeting room with several people waiting for me while I'm on the phone with a nurse, discussing my son's sleeping problems and aching tummy. "Sorry, I just had to take this call. Yeah, he'll be fine, I'll try some medicine for him today". I'm now one of those guys who have other priorities than work.

The clock is slowly moving towards end-of-day and I am already longing to go home. I see his face in my mind while driving home through the rain. Shhhh, he is finally asleep. But there he is!!! Sure, I won't disturb. After dinner, I can hold him and rock him for a while and try to prolong his sleep a bit more, only partially successful. But that warm little bundle feels very good in my arms, and those big eyes melt my heart.

Oh man, it's only 9pm and I am already half asleep! Shortly thereafter Magnus goes to sleep in the Big Bed, and I can't help myself but lie down next to him and just look and look. Yep, I want to sleep here, close to my son. Mama - you can go sleep in the quiet room, I'll look after him. A new day is over.